«"Dad, do you want me to take you to bed?" I nodded, my eyes already welling with tears. My father was dying right before my eyes, and my heart was breaking. squeezed into a gag from which I couldn't free myself until several months later. I pushed his wheelchair into his room and called my mother to help me lift him into bed. His body had grown heavy; his earthly life was leaving him. I took him by the chest and laid him on the bed; his limp arms encircled mine… In this last embrace, my father sighed.
And the world around me changed. Or so I thought. In reality, it was I who couldn't feel the ground beneath my feet. Sleepless nights began, a restlessness... wrapped.
«"Your father was an elegant man until the very end." I started looking at myself in the mirror and seeing myself with that same elegance; I searched for it in my clothes, in my hairstyles. It was hard to find myself without him. Who was I without my father alive? I never would have thought that the bond with my dad would be so strong and almost vital to me. I thought I had prepared myself, that I was old enough to take on his role. exit from the scene. I thought that then I would stop missing him, like I had all my life, perhaps…
Sadness me invaded.
Two months after his death, I suddenly stopped and began to cry. The man by my side at that time was unwilling to offer me the gentleness I needed; he judged my grief as abnormal and frustrated My need to experience it. This added to the many different perspectives on daily life. I left his house that day, knowing I would never return. My father was already beginning to guide me from above so that I could find the strength to make the right decisions. Besides, he had never liked this man for me.
The losses then became two: two separations, two awakenings, and two acceptances of the end. I began to decline greatly. My inner self She was crumbling under the weight of these two deaths and could find no way out.. The sadness was stronger than my vital energy. I absolutely had to do something: my son needed my presence and my joy. The center I had just opened (a few days after his passing, I signed the lease for a space for yoga and natural therapies that I had dreamed of finding for years; once again, a feather fell from above) It revolved around me and required me with all my strength intact.
I felt like I was collapsing More and more each day, and I was fully aware of it. I decided to do something. The intention was very strong, as was the will to get out of that situation.
Me I clung I went to practice every morning. At 5:30, I made the effort to get up and practice Ashtanga Yoga or Vinyasa, finishing with several Qi Gong exercises to rebalance my energy. After each practice, I felt reborn. Day after day, I felt my vital energy returning, and with it, the desire to go out.
And so, the change in frequency within me brought about a splendid coach who accompanied me with her wonderful presence and comforting hugs. I then added meditation to my daily routine and peace began to fill my heart.
The insomnia persisted, and the antidote was a retreat at Plum Village. I slept immersed in the forest and practiced an hour of yoga and an hour of meditation daily with a partner. Mindful walks and self-observation during the day brought me back to that mental calm that allowed me to sleep again. Once more, daily practices and the mindfulness They were the antidote to restore balance.
The book '‘My Daily Practices‘'It is written with all my heart, so that you too you can develop this precious tool and experiment the inner arts, creating Your healing refuge and your strength for everyday life. We die and are reborn several times in one existence, but what you achieve by having a daily routine of inner arts allows you to be reborn more quickly each time, and to shine brighter each time and with greater inner peace.
Keep your Light alive by cultivating the seeds of it every day. harmony and full awareness to live life to the fullest.
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